Saturday, February 26, 2011

What's been going on

This week I got to see the back specialist. He basically said I'm one hell of a mess. I have two pretty herniated vertebrae, one of which is nicely torn, as well as degenerative bone disease. My discs are pushing on a clump of nerves which impedes the function of my right leg. I have to go to physical therapy, to hopefully help me get some function and stability back. 

On Thursday I had a really painful shot in my spine. I don't think it would have been too bad but since I'm pregnant he couldn't use an x-ray to guide the needle, or some of the numbing crap they use for most people when they do the injection. The doc had to push REALLY hard on the parts of my back which are killing me. I think that's the first time I've ever nearly screamed in a doctor's office. I'm hoping the shot helps, but so far it's taken a little of the edge off but not much else. They say wait 3 days to see if there is a change. My doctor would love to treat me really aggressively but his hands are really tied because of the pregnancy, so he's doing what he can do...which isn't much. 

It's hard to remain positive, upbeat and hopeful through this. 

Anyway, no one knows if this will go away after I have the baby, or if this is just the way it's going to be for some unknown amount of time. Because I'm pregnant, there really isn't much they can do for me but wait it out and see if it goes away on it's own, with some pain management help. I hope it goes away, but who knows. I've been stuck on my back for two weeks now. That can really get to a woman. My OB says that once my uterus pushes up a little further the pain might recede, but no one really knows. This is just some weird, freak thing and it's leaving everyone kind of scratching their head and saying "what the hell?" 

Now, onto books. I have started to read again, and have a few books waiting to be reviewed. I'm hoping to get back to that on Monday, but my reviewing might be slower than normal due to pain and whatever else might come up. I'm hoping to get 2 reviews done a week, but don't be shocked if there's only 1 a week for a little while. This whole situation is VERY challenging for me emotionally and physically and sometimes I just can't quite wrap my head around books or reading blogs or anything else of that nature. 

The good news is that we get to find out the gender of "Squidgette" (baby's nickname) in a few weeks. We heard the heartbeat yesterday and I may have felt my first swift kick in the gut today. I think I am brewing up one of the most stubborn babies on the planet. This kid has survived cancer treatment, and now all this crap and it keeps on keeping on. I am kind of in awe of it's ability to cling stubbornly to life despite all the hell my body has been going through. That really is the light in the tunnel for me right now. My body may hate me, but at least the baby is okay. 

I hope everyone else is doing okay and thank you for sticking around during this really intense period of my life. I don't like putting my blog, or my reading schedule on hold, but it's been necessary. We all have our breaking points. I appreciate you guys sticking with me through mine. 

5 comments:

  1. Wow, that is a lot to deal with all at once. If you're not feeling up to blogging, don't worry about it, though - it's very understandable why you may not be able to read or write regularly for a bit. I'm amazed you've been able to write even as often as you have with everything that has been going on. I hope you start feeling better very, very soon!

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  2. Sarah, you know how much I love you. I cannot believe all the shit you get put through, yet you keep on going. I have been with you through some of the hardest times in your life and I am proud to call you friend. You know if you EVER need anything, just call me. I just know you and Erik will be awesome parents, no matter what the baby's name may actually be :)

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  3. I've only been following your blog for a little while. I am very glad to hear that the doctors are trying *something* and will keep my fingers crossed that you will get better. Keep on keeping on!

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  4. I'm sorry to hear that life is still pretty cruddy for you at the moment. I'm rooting for you, and I'm sending good vibes in your direction. Stay positive, but don't underestimate the value of a good old-fashioned ranting session now and again!

    Take care of yourself.

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  5. What an awful lot to go through -- I'm so glad you have the positive attitude and the social support you need right now! And a baby to meet soon!

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